The World according to Rich - Young Drivers

Okay, why not start with something that hits close to home for my friends and myself. Young drivers.

Now dont get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with being young and driving a car to get to point A to point B, but you cant deny that ignoring that percentage of the population, the other 80% are complete fuckwits when it comes to automobiles.

Let me give you an example. I'm 6' 7", and thus need a big(ish) car so I can fit in it. This, naturally, makes the insurance companies so monumentally angry, that they feel the need to charge me three times what other young drivers pay. At no point was I asked about my physical condition, and they made no attempt during countless circular phonecalls to aknowledge my vast leg length.

So imagine my frustration when every time I'm out in a public place, I see Derk Fuckwit in his 'highly modified' Ford Focus when I can barely afford a Daihatsu. And he doesnt just drive, oh no, he not only drives, but he feels the need to announce his presence with an overly large (and ironically, performance degrading) exhaust. I'm sorry, but people who fit drainpipe exhausts to cars with engines under 2.5 liters are unquestionably sporting inadequate sexual organs.

The road outside my house is a haven for these 'speed freaks' too. One guy particularly likes getting up to fifth gear in his turbo enhanced car. I think to myself "I bet he has a Subaru Impreza, or a Mitsubishi Evo", but no, the man had a 1998 4 door Saxo. About £500 worth of car, with £2,500 worth of turbo system. However, I wasnt suprised, because I had already concluded that his brain was about the size of an anorexic wasp.

And trust me, I'll cover this in more detail in a future rant, but what the hell is up with these kids playing the most godawful and aurally violating drum and bass music? Dont get me wrong, I dont mind drum and bass, I quite like lots of music (except rap, which I'll also cover later) but I dont go around with overly large speakers pumping out a banging bit of Chas and Dave, do I. No. So why should they? Because they CRAVE attention. They want to be at the center of everyone's vision and hearing, they want people to look and go "WOW!"

Too bad that people look and go "What a massive prick."