The World according to Rich - The Jobcentre

Eurgh. I'm almost too pissed off to write this entry. Goddamnit. The Jobcentre. The biggest oxymoron in Britain.

I've been using it to try to find work for months; working my ass off applying to dozens of jobs, none of which even have the common courtesy to call back and say I didnt get the job. What kind of help do I get from the Jobcentre, I hear you ask? Help with your CV? Cover letters?

None of the above. They do as little as possible, and treat you as if you've just punched their sainted mother in the face. The picture above isnt even an exaggeration. They really are that fucking huge. I have half a mind to go in next time and begin the conversation with "Oochie-chowabee, Solooo"


They're grotesquely obese, grotesquely stupid, grotesquely rude, and grotesquely incompetent. I would honestly rather eat the asshole of Piers Morgan than have to deal with them.

You walk in, are sat waiting for about 20 minutes whilst they have a gossip and play solitaire; then finally when you are seen, they talk to you like you're a 5 year old who just grazed their knee.

Me: "I'm really having trouble getting to the interview stage"
Them: "Its disheartening isnt it :/"

WELL WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT YOU FUCKING USELESS WELSH ZEPPELIN?! GODFUCKINGDAMNIT.

I had to miss an appointment for personal reasons one Friday, so I went in on Tuesday and filled out the appropriate form, fine. At no point did they say I would have to turn up 3 days later - does that make sense to you? No, me neither. So, instead of calling me on Thursday, just to say "Just reminding you that you need to come in tomorrow aswell" - you know, as a normal person would in a potentially confusing situation, I got fuck all until *I* rang *THEM* - after which I was told to forward my reasons to the

DECISION MAKER OMG!!

Who, whilst the name sounds cool, is just some fat bloke who has to stop as much money being paid as possible. Of course, the only reasonable explanations for absence include being turned inside out, losing both arms, or having no head.

Now, I wont lie to you, yeah, I'm being paid benefits; but unlike so many people my age, I still live with my folks, have no fucking children, and only claim what I need to run my car, which is essential to me looking for work. Yet, I'm treated by these human airships like I'm dogshit on the bottom of their shoe.

I get about £50 a week - now, to put that in perspective, my car insurance costs £180 a month, which is about £50 a week. That's not including petrol, servicing, road tax, and spending £68 to have a chip in the windscreen fixed.

In short, my question is this, if the government is so intent on getting people into work, why the FUCK aren't jobseekers provided with more tools with which to do so? At the moment, all I've been offered is printouts of information I can find online - which coincidentally is "Not their problem" if it's lost after a few weeks. The very least they could do it stop waddling over to each others desks and talking about bullshit whilst everyone else sits and waits for a few decades.

I think I just solved the mystery of why I didnt get that phonecall!

The telephone was probably an appetiser for their main course of a small Toyota.