What the hell is up with them? What possible entertainment is to be had by watching a group of Londoners arguing for a bit, then leaving in a taxi. More drama happens behind the scenes of those shows than on the screen. It seems the show creators can turn on a sixpence too - if they kill off a character and it causes massive outrage from single mothers and people over 70, then ooh! He/she wasnt *really* dead, one of the following happened:
1) Its a long lost twin that died!
2) They escaped the burning overturned car with nothing but some duct tape and a pencil!
3) ETZA CLOHNE!!
Give me a break. If I was in charge, I'd add random gunfights, explosions, Citroens doing corkscrew jumps, and copious amounts of female volleyball. THEN it'd be entertainment.
Also, where do scientists find the time to make documentaries on shit nobody c
ares about? Or, where do they get the funding to 'prove' that dolphins have accents? Or, that cows fart in C minor? Who the fuck cares? Its like in school, getting picked for the basketball team. The scientists who get picked last get the crappy experiments to do, like finding out how long it takes for a Jaffa Cake to decompose.How about spending your time doing something worthwhile? Renewable energy, cancer cures, improving the lives of the handicapped.. not these ridiculous primary school projects that cost millions and contribute NOTHING to the lives of normal people.
It's the same with reality shows. Big Brother is the worst damn offender in this shitheap. Let me break it down for you in two parts. Part A summarises what it was meant to be, and Part B summarises what is actually produced.
A) Big Brother seals a group of diverse people in a house together for a set amount of time, to study their relationships, conflicts, and see their reactions to bizaare challenges that require teamwork.
B) A black man, a homosexual, a whore, a dumbass, a guido and a goth are put in a house, where they eat, shit, sleep, then leave.
Er, loses something in the translation, doesn't it. I love particularly how the participants treat Big Brother. They cater for the show's every whim without question, cry for a bit, fumble around
with each other under the duvet, and cry a bit more. Why dont they say "Go fuck yourself" when they're asked to dance around in spandex doing the Riverdance. THAT would be interesting television. I would watch it just to see what the producers of the show would do. But no, instead, it starts every year, goes on for three millenia, and whoever wins gets to sell their story to the Sun and bring out a range of fragrances called "Devils Buttplug" or someshit. Puh-lease. Hey, I can think of far better uses for that house, too. HM Customs Detention Center, anyone?I do admit, there are some good reasons for paying the TV License fee, or buying a Sky box (Cable for you yanks). Top Gear, Have I Got News For You, Doctor Who, etc. One that you may not know about, or for that matter expect me to enjoy, is Al Jazeera, and assorted religious and middle/far eastern channels.
If you've had a little to drink, seriously, flick through them. It's like swallowing an ecstasy pill laced with pixie dust. I managed to summarise most of the Indian channels thus:
________
Zooming Camera x (Angry Indian Man + Concerned Looking Indian Woman) = Indian TV
________
Its just all completely batshit insane. And it's all accompanied by frantic sitar music, and what I swear is the sound of a cat being fed through a mangle. Instant lols.
Al-Jazeera and the Middle Eastern channels are pretty much the same, and you can't understand either the writing on the screen or what they're saying, so they're clearly talking about infidel Westerners and terrorism. No, that's unfair. Probably the latest burkha fashion aswell.
Hang on, back in a second, I think the Muhajideen are knocking on my door after that last section. I'll finish it when I get ba-
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