The World according to Rich - Global Warming

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Good old Global Warming, eh? I would rather eat a hobo's sock than listen to any more hoodoo about it.

The way I understand it, the earth is warming up, and the ice caps are melting, raising sea levels. (Even though that wouldnt really affect me, being up on a mountain. LOL sucks for you Holland!)
Apparantley, its all our fault, too. Because our cars are too big, our cows fart too much, and we dont recycle the corn in our shit.

Funny thing is, the vast majority of people havent stopped to think that it *might* all be a load of complete shite. Think about it logically! If the earth was heating up so much that it was threatening several countries, do you honestly think recycling our milk bottles is going to stop it? Is it shite. Eco-Mentalists live in a fantasy world, where they think Mother Nature has invited them around to discuss global warming over a plate of eco-muffins.

Urgh.

Please stop telling me how to live my life. Please. If I'm going to drown in dead polar bears, the fact that I drive to the supermarket has nothing to do with it. Infact, I live in fucking Wales. Bring Global Warming ON. Might get a summer worth spit. I'm sick of being told that I need to be green. Go fuck yourself. If I want to leave my car idling for 5 minutes, I'll leave it so. You have a problem with it, I'll rape your face. Stop meddling in my GOD DAMNED life.

Same goes for this supposed "Green Tax" - I know its stereotypical of me to say, but why should Britain have to be the "forefront for international climate awareness"? (which is just a gay way of saying "Nature's Gimp") what the shit is anyone else doing? China churns out more pollution that a Labour Party conference. Would they do anything about it? Aye, about as likely as the Pope shagging a Leprechaun.

Everyone seems to say they like the environment, that they'd do anything to protect it, but I see right through them. Next time you see one, ask them "Which would you rather, a Toyota Prius, or a Rolls Royce Ghost?" If they say the Prius, they're lying. Humans are bred to live in excess. It makes us feel good, and screw everything else. I'd more than likely shoot a penguin for a Rolls Royce, so why deny it? It has a fridge and everything!

And a DVD player.

And a holder for champagne and glasses.

And air suspension.

Infact, if you rode in a Rolls Royce Ghost, you'd probably feel like a wisp of wind on a leaf. And guess what? It has a V12 engine, which murders your precious environment. Yet, you feel like you're one with it.

The best thing is, its the biggest symbol of excess nowadays. Its a big "Fuck you" to Global Warming, the Recession, Stigma and always being the one following everyone else.