The World according to Rich - Political Correctness

Well, I was hoping to save this lovely kettle of sour fish until my first book (hah!), but what the hell, I feel like having a moan about something that affects everyone.

You cant pick up a newspaper, turn on the television, browse the internet, or have a conversation, without hearing stories about how one group of people pissed off another group of people, and there's a big hoorah about it all, where we're treated to weeks of pussyfooting around in circles to end up at a conclusion that satisfies no-one.

Here's my idea, ignore them. Ignore anyone who bitches and whines when someone talks about them. Its just as much my right to type shit about all these topics, as it is for these people to get offended by it. Its simple; if you dont like what I'm saying, dont read it. Put it out of your mind and get the hell on with your life. It's so rudimentary, I can hardly believe I'm having to type it out.

I remember a few years ago, one of our ministers got into trouble about the whole Muslim Veil issue. Now, it started off as a simple question from him; "Would you mind removing it when you're in a meeting?" but no, the tabloids, and any religious person who wants to make a few quid is up in arms, yelling about how he "DEMANDS VEIL REMOVED" or "INSISTS WOMAN TAKES OFF VEIL" . I applaud the minister (right) for having the balls to stand up to these overreacting, egotistical, megalomaniacal assholes who find every little fucking thing to complain about, hoping that everyone else bends over backwards to accomodate them. Well done, Mr Straw. (Even though you look like the Demon Headmaster. A bit.)


A final thought on these veils, by the way. There was a news story that came out not long after this one, in which a man conducted a test in which he wore a full body veil, and went through an airport. Not one security official asked him to remove it to verify his identity, he just went straight through. What does that say for our national security?! Are we really so terrified of these people that we wont carry out security procedures?

Another place where political correctness truly is going mad, is in the little things. Things you and I grew up with, nursery rhymes, gingerbreadmen, the nativity at primary school. All of these things cant exist anymore because someone, somewhere, has found the time to be offended, or someone has thought "Well we better ban that, just incase". Every day we see new societies forming, that want to change things "just incase" - in the words of the immortal Jeremy Clarkson; "They're not societies, they're just some silly old women in an attic"

"Baa Baa Black Sheep" was one of the nursery rhymes to be axed. Now, I dont know alot of black people, but I expect you'd have a task finding one who'd be offended by that. Its not as if it's saying "Baa Baa Black Man, have you any weed? Yea boi, yea boi, an ounce fo' tree fiddy" is it. The same with Gingerbreadmen. They have to be called "Gingerbreadperson" now. So basically, some stupid old fat woman has found the time between eating these treats, to be offended by them. I'd love to see a baker say a big "Fuck you" to these folks and draw little iced penises on them. Just to see what they'd do.


This political correctness bullshit is even starting to spread to television. One of my favourite programmes, 'Top Gear', is, as you know, hosted by three blokes, who basically drive fast cars, and mess about alot. Usually blowing up caravans along the way. I read that there are calls from feminist groups that a fourth female presenter should be added, to take away the "boys with toys" image of the show.



Fuck. Off. You stupid, nagging, useless, incoherant fucks. I can count on the fingers of one hand how many shows have an all male presenting team. The "boys with toys" image is what makes the show fun. You have "Loose Women", we have "Top Gear". Leave us alone.

Now dont get me wrong, a woman presenter wouldnt hurt the show all that much..IF she knew a damn thing about cars. Sabine Schmitz, for example (cutey that she is) would be an awesome pick, but lets face it. If Top Gear was to gain a new presenter, it'd be some blonde bimbo with huge breasts who would think that "Aston Martin" is the name of the bloke who played Samwise Gamgee in Lord of the Rings.

I could go on about this political correctness gone mad, but, I'd prefer to offer it in bitesize chunks, so you guys dont get bored. Besides, I can put the full flow of my ideas into that book.

Are you listening, Mr Publisher?